Norman Wayne Brumbley

Norman Wayne Brumbley

23 October 1943 ~ 20 October 2014

 

My brother summed up my feelings with this facebook post from 21 October 2014:::

 

As universal and inevitable as death is, there are as many different perspectives on its reality as there are men and women on the earth who will eventually pass through it. I know that some of you reading this status see this life, and the death that ends it, very differently than I do, but there are some aspects of the experience which are common to everyone, no matter your views on the afterlife, or the lack thereof. One moment, one day, one year, someone is a part of your life; a piece of the identity you’ve built for yourself, however large or small, is there within your reach, a phone call, a plane ride, a Skype call away. Then the next moment, the next day, maybe twenty years after you last thought of them, they’re somewhere else, somewhere you can’t reach them, hear them, touch them.

   

Nothing I say can simplify the complexity of emotion that accompanies the death of someone close to you. It goes beyond sadness, beyond any definition you can form of the word ‘grief’ before experiencing it for yourself. Their absence changes the world in which you live, and consequently changes who you are as a resident of that world.

    

My father died this morning a little after midnight, after a long struggle against cancer and all the thousand natural shocks that come as a byproduct of such a condition. It’s taken me a long time to collect my thoughts, not because I don’t know how I feel or what I believe about what’s happened, but because it’s difficult to feel anything through the haze created by the demands of this kind of pain. No amount of knowledge or understanding I possess is capable of mitigating the ache of his absence. Testimony and faith are capable only of providing hope and encouraging patience in us as we work through the pain in the moment of its demand. I miss him, and will continue to miss him until the day I meet him again.

    

My father is one of the most admirable men I have ever known, not because he lived a perfect or extraordinary life, but because he held himself to such a standard as to close his mortal existence without regrets. I had the privilege of living through the latter half of his life as his son, and I count it as one of the greatest honors I will ever possess, to call myself his. I have done the best I know how in every phase of my life to honor him, and I will continue to do so for as long as I live. My son will never know him, as I had hoped he would, but he will learn as much about him as I’m able to relate, even if our account of others, especially of the dead, will always fail to capture the entirety of the person themselves.

     

There is a long and honored tradition of tropes and trite catch-phrases surrounding the reality of death. Someone being in a better place, or happier now, or resting peacefully. Gone into the next room, blinking for an exceptionally long time, the list goes on. All of these phrases seem as petty and hollow as they sound, even if they all come from the genuine hearts of those striving to mourn with those who mourn, as we are commanded to do. I will not subscribe to any of them, but my own thoughts on the subject may sound just as Hallmark-worthy as the others. This is what I know, beyond the doubts this world presses us to feel about our course through this existence.

     

What I know is that my father is alive, in the only way that matters. We are not bodies who have spirits. We are spirits who have bodies for a time, and then move on with our existence when they can no longer sustain us. My father, like all the rest of us, is a creature of eternity. The bonds of our family and our love for each other extend beyond this life, and nothing so temporary and terrestrial as death has the power to change the truths of our divine relationships one to another. I will strive to live the length of my own mortality in such a way that he will be proud of who I am as his son, and when I leave this world behind, I will see him again. My father is with his father now, and that is enough.

 

- David Brumbley

Montessori Pumpkin Patch Trip

More cows - 'tis the season, I guess.  Today JMichael and Josephine went with me to the Hicks Family Farm Pumpkin Patch with our Montessori class.  I got to run around with my kids because each student had to bring an adult along.  We saw more livestock and rode a pony.

 Then we actually did get lost in the corn maze.  Lost.

I  did take a good shot of the little two while we were trying to get out of the maze.

But in the end we walked through the corn to the outside of the field because we were hopelessly, completely lost in the maze.  But hey.  (Get it?  Fall.  Hey.  Hay.  Hahahaha)  What a beautiful day of fun in the fall.

Arkansas State Fair 2014

We hit the Arkansas State Fair - on a drizzly Saturday with no crowds and no lines.  But there were cows.  I made the kids walk through the livestock and needlework exhibits even though they think that a state fair is only about riding the rides.  We tried out some goat milk hand cream and wondered at the photography and drawing entries.  Amazing stuff.  Charlotte wants to enter a photograph next year.

We brought along Josephine's friend MacKenzie, who was happy to show off the pig she won popping a balloon with a dart at the game booth.  Life lesson learned - NEVER talk to the hawkers in the game booths at the state fair.  They will take you for everything they can.  Ugh.

Those dangling feet are Charlotte, Josephine and MacKenzie.  About four stories in the air.  Fun.

Coming back to earth - all smiles.

Fair sized roller coasters.  They all rode another, larger one, too.  Way fun.

JMichael picked the bumper cars.  He was too little to drive, but, Charlotte was thrilled to help out.

The fun house - Charlotte said, look mom, a fun house - like Danny and Sandy went into.  Yes.  My children use Grease as a life reference.

Finally, we saw a diving show.  Oh. My. Gosh.  They did tandem dives; they did multiple flips.  They tricked us; they made us laugh.  And then, at the end, they dove from 85 feet in the air!  Whoa.  It was amazing.

Spirit Week 2014

High School football is a big part of life in a rural Arkansas town.  Our family goes to games because James enjoys football and because we watch Samantha, who chants and dances with her team at halftime.  During homecoming week, the town shuts down on Friday afternoon for a parade.  The schools let out early, the businesses close up early and the police section off part of the main road through town.  It's parade time.

I took a few pictures of Rachel and Samantha demonstrating their school spirit - Rachel is a junior this year and Samantha is a sophomore - and they dress up according to a theme.

I only managed to get two days - color day (juniors are blue and sophomores are green) and character day.  Samantha was Waldo (and she said ALL. DAY. LONG. people would walk up to her and say, I found you!) and Rachel was Johnny Appleseed.  Cute story - One of the principals called Rachel into the office because a teacher complained that a student had the audacity to dress as a pothead.  The assistant principal, who shall remain nameless, asked her the question - Are you dressed as a pothead?  What book are you specifically referring to?  Ugh.  Rachel gently reminded him that she is a dressed, quite accurately, as a hero of American folklore - Johnny Appleseed.  She was released to return to class, laughing.

The three shots that follow are also from spirit week - Samantha with her friends Patience and Carley on the dance team float in the parade.  Charlotte - also riding a float - for the Piranhas, her swim team.  Charlotte was so excited to ride on the float; this was her first parade and she loved it.  The last shot is the big ladies' shoes on color day.  I cannot tell you how many pairs of Converse my kids have.  We have bought almost every pair of Converse we have ever found in any thrift store.  Classic.  And they go with everything.

Splash - September 2014

This is the splash from September 2014.  This picture was taken at Greer's Ferry Lake in Heber Springs, Arkansas.  I am standing on a ledge about ten feet above the ladies and JMichael in the water.  The rocks allow for lots of jumping and the various heights of the rocks and lake let the bravest and the most timid find a jump they can handle.  Well, not everyone.  I'm not jumping off of any rocks.  I do encourage my kids to do it.  Is that great parenting, or what?

1986 240DL Volvo Wagon

This happened.  Let me explain.

Rachel has been driving since she was 14.  In Arkansas, at 14 a child can get a permit to drive.  This permit has to renewed every 6 months until the child is 16, then the child takes the driving portion of the test and gets a real license to drive.  Crazy.  Notice how I refer to the driver as a child?  What do you call a 14 year old girl?  Ugh.

Anyway, my viewpoints aside, Rachel was so excited to drive.  She got her permit and she got her license.  She was ready.  She wondered where the car was.

We do not have the monetary ability to buy her a car to drive.  We don't even have the ability to pay for her insurance.  Have you ever priced insurance on a 16 year old girl?  Ha!  So James and I told her what any responsible parent tells a child with expensive taste - get a job.  Rachel got a job.

Now what?  Yup.  A car.  She searched Craigslist, Ebay, the local paper and she scoured the roadways for cars with For Sale signs.  She had in mind just what she wanted, but, her caviar taste on a hot dog budget was getting frustrating.

Finally, she did it.  With a payment arrangement from her friend, Garrett, she bought a car - a 240 DL Turbo Volvo Wagon, light blue.

Now, for any of you readers who have known me my whole life, you may be thinking - a 240 DL Turbo Volvo Wagon?  Tina drove one of those!  Yes, it's true.  And I loved that car.  I loved that car so much that I haven't loved another car as much since then.  Sigh.

My Volvo had 350,000 miles on it when we finally sold it.  It's the car I was driving when I met James.  It's the car WE were driving when Rachel was born.  It's the car that had two ignitions because the original one was stuck in gear and instead of fixing it, I just added a second ignition.  I loved that car.  It's the car that had the back glass smashed in while I was in a movie theater because I had a stash of Christmas presents in the back, covered unconvincingly by a blanket, and the presents were all stolen.

And now Rachel is driving the same car - kind of.  Mine was a 1982.  Hers is a 1986.

Here's my '82 Volvo - all dressed up on our wedding day in 1997.

Josephine, Double Digits?

Josephine has entered the realm of the double digits.  It truly happens so fast.  So. Very. Fast.  Josephine was born at Women's Hospital in Greensboro, North Carolina.  She was delivered by cesarean section by a French born gynecological surgeon on October 1, 2004.  I cannot remember that woman's name, but, she was thrilled that our baby girl was going to be born on her own birthday, and that we were giving her a French name - Josephine Lisette.  Josephine is pictured here in the obligatory BallTeam fingers pose - with her own spin.

Josephine is her own person.  She chronologically our fourth child and our youngest daughter.  She is bright.  So bright.  She reads easily, she loves math and she thinks puzzles and projects are just fun.  Learning comes easily to her, I think, for one major reason - Josephine asks questions.  Incessantly.  Non-stop.  It's literally exhausting.  But, it's so good for her.  She is always interested in how it works, why it doesn't work, where something is, how it got there, who knows about this, what would happen if this....she is constantly questioning the world around her and soaking in all the information she can find. 

For Josephine's party, we were graciously allowed to use our friend's pool.  We invited friends and played away a summer afternoon in September (a little early, but, hey, let's celebrate).

Another BallTeam tradition - the non-traditional "cake".  Josephine got her name in Skittles - glued down with icing.

The candles didn't stand up very well, but, they didn't have to stand for long....

No forks.....just smiles.

And it's gone.

 

Josephine is in the fourth grade.  She wants to be a Mom when she grows up.  Josephine is limber and loves gymnastics.  She is often on the trampoline practicing her tricks and performing for the rest of us.  James used some lumber for a balance beam in our backyard and Josephine made an even bar out of the soccer goal and a Barbie jeep (to anchor it down).

 

Josephine recently started wearing glasses and really kinda loves them.  Josephine has a few friends at school that mean a lot to her and she can frequently be found at their houses.  It's only been in the past two years or so that she has found this kind of confidence.  She used to be painfully shy and now she is finding her voice and making her way in this world.

 

Josephine is a firecracker.  Do not make her mad.  She has a temper but she only brings it out when she thinks is necessary.  Her sisters look to her as the little kid in the family, but, she doesn't stand for it.  She is thoughtful - she will text me that she misses me while I'm at work - and she is responsible - she is up and ready for school and on top of her homework.

 

Josephine (Joey, Jo-bo-danjle) is also a great big sister to JMichael.  He knows that he can count on her to play with him and watch over him at school. He relies on her and she is sure to take the lead and while she wants her space, she would never leave JMichael out.

 

Ten?  A decade?  Joey was just learning to walk when our family evacuated in the path of Hurricane Katrina.  She doesn't remember the devastation and the tragic events of the time, but I remember her bright eyes and sweet toddler spirit of adventure in the midst of overwhelming destruction.

 

Josephine will go far.  She is a force, an opinionated anchor in the whirlwinds of life.  She has a sharp wit, a quick smile and the determined attitude to "make it so".  We love you, Joey!